The Jesus Army and sex!
Right! I've got your attention…a deliberate trick (or maybe not!), so here goes.
On this page:Sex and Society
We live in a society where we bombarded (literally bombarded!) with graphic sexuality at every turn. Sex is big big business, and the media thrives on it - especially the red top tabloid newspapers!!
I recently did some research in which I compared the 'news' stories in two popular tabloids with those in a leading broadsheet paper, and I was very nearly physically sickened at some of the results. One contrast that particular sticks in my memory concerns the death of the Chinese cockle pickers in Morecambe Bay. Whilst it was the main story in the broadsheet, both of the tabloids that I looked at had headlines concerning Jordan's 'shocking school secrets'.
The big problem with all of this is that sex and physical attraction is taken out its correct place in human relationships and given a prominence that it can never sustain…for many, it's bound to all end in tears! I could write volumes on the subject. But this, of course, isn't the place. I'm just making it quite clear that I think the Jesus Army are perfectly correct when they identify the prevailing attitude towards sex as an issue that needs to be sorted out!
But, as ever, both extremes of the pendulum have their dangers and problems; so let us look at some of the key issues.
Please note. The observations made on this page essentially apply to the inner core of the Jesus Army - to 'covenanted' members of the New Creation Christian Community. There are less demanding expectations on those who belong to the wider body of the Jesus Fellowship, even though the 'core' principles remain the same.
Fornication for procreation only
This is the core of the JA sexual ethic, but you WON'T find it referred to on their website or in any of the published literature that I've read…strange for such important issue, don't you think? It's not even as if they are alone in what they teach; it's an ethic that has been historically associated with certain sections of orthodox Christianity, and still is - the Roman Catholic church being, perhaps, the most powerful proponent.
At the heart of the Jesus Army is the New Creation Christian Community, where 'style 3' members live communally sharing all of their possessions and income. Married couples within this community are advised to only 'come together' for sexual purposes if it is with the intention of procreating. Provided this ethic is being complied with (which, as can easily be imagined, isn't always the case) the use of contraception is regarded as being contrary to the will of God. To help avoid the temptation to sin, couples are advised to sleep in single beds.
Readers will note my use of the word 'advised'. Whether this is the appropriate word or not must remain open for debate. Within the context of a community where obedience to the leadership is emphasised as an essential aspect of the Christian lifestyle, the concept of 'advice' as opposed to 'instruction' can be somewhat misleading!
But leaving aside the sleeping-arrangement practicalities of the sexual ethic for those who are married, we also need to understand the effect it has on attitudes towards sexuality in general. Think about the logic of it! The only time, according to the JA ethic, that sexual intercourse (copulation/love-making/sleeping together - call it what you will!) is within 'the will of God' is when it is being 'performed' (ouch! It hurt to have to talk about like that) to produce offspring. By definition, then, sexual thoughts and impulses that are unassociated with 'baby making' are impure and unclean. Put bluntly, they are pure lust. The potential for repressed sexuality need hardly be spelt out, and it is my belief that this is just as damaging as the unbridled sexual license that characterises the society in which the rest of us live.
Throughout most of the developed world there are indeed special circumstances in which some couples plan their love making around their desire for children, especially when there are fertility problems. This aside, marital sex is pretty much an indulgence of erotic urges. In saying this, I am merely trying to be honest about what is going on: trying to cut through the hypocrisy that would attribute 'higher' motives to what is, essentially, a very natural base instinct common to most animals…so let's not dress it up in sanctimonious spiritual language! True, it can also (though not necessarily) be an expression of deep love, but that doesn't change the fact that the urge to make love comes from genital excitement! If the JA ethic of 'fornication for procreation' is to be taken seriously, however, then couples who have come together purely for sexual satisfaction have yielded to the temptations of the flesh and, as such, have been sinful in sight of God.
In my view, this is an unnatural and unhealthy attitude towards sex. The idea of sex being mutually enjoyed at a sensual level has no place within the JA ethic, and the attainment of orgasm entirely secondary to the 'primary' function. Needless to say, it is the women - because of insufficient clitoral stimulation - who are most likely to suffer sexual frustration in consequence. There is no place for experimentation with techniques that allow both partners to achieve orgasm: that ISN'T what sex is meant to be about! If intercourse is 'performed' purely for procreative purposes, and this results in the woman being denied the experience and enjoyment of orgasm, then, in my opinion, it is one of the most callous expressions of male selfishness, ignorance and dominance that I can think of. Conversely, proper consideration for one another's physical satisfaction within the sexual act is both liberating and a wonderful expression of unselfish tenderness and care!
On the other hand, I suppose there is always the option for the women to just lie back and think of the Kingdom!
Courtship, Celibacy and Matrimony
Given the situation I have described, it is hardly surprising that marriage within the JA is regarded as a 'second best'. Biblical 'authority' for this is derived from passages such as the following:
"It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband."
The interpretation placed upon this is that marriage only exists for those who have not been able to 'get the victory' over their sexual impulses. In addition to drawing attention, once again, to the JA's connection of sexual impulse with 'uncleanness', it is also a denial of far higher and nobler motivations for wanting to come together in matrimony!
The idea that physical sexual impulses and thoughts are unclean also weaves its way into the lifestyle of the unmarried brothers and sisters (men and women). No one who has spent any time with the Jesus Army can have failed to notice the very strict segregation that is maintained between the sexes. The author of the book 'Fire in our Hearts' has this to say on the subject:
We had kept a degree of segregation since first establishing mixed community at the Farm and Sheepfold. Men shared their feelings mostly with men, and women with women. That encouraged depth and avoided the subtle dangers of flirtation. We mixed together in company but avoided being left alone together.
Reading this makes it sound as if the segregation was introduced for practical reasons concerned with communal living. A more honest explanation of the segregation, I would suggest, is to do with this whole attitude of seeing 'uncleanness' lurking behind the inherent attraction between men and women, and it is therefore a way of 'encouraging' brothers and sisters not to become romantically involved with one another.
This is why there is very strict courtship procedure, and why brothers and sisters are expected to 'die' to their feelings of romantic attachment and, wherever possible, pursue the calling of 'celibacy' (remaining single).
The fact is that remaining celibate is regarded as being the 'higher' or 'better' way to be. That's why they have such things as special 'celibates' meetings' and why they set targets for the number of celibate people they would like to have. That's why such play is made in their literature of how wonderful it is when people make a decision to remain celibate, especially when this is confirmed by them making a formal lifelong vow to remain single. Here are a few extracts on the subject from the book 'Fire in our Hearts', (written by two long-term JA members):
- To me celibacy was the highest way according to Scripture, and I didn't want second best! I reckoned I could handle it temperamentally, so I laid it before God. Shortly after that I was struck by an article in New Wine magazine about being single for the Lord and I knew God was telling me to 'Go for it!' Increasing numbers among us were finding the celibate gift and making lifelong vows. Piers became a celibate leader at Sheepfold - and a useful contrast to Pete and Carol with their growing family! Piers wrote: 'I didn't want to get bogged down in the cares of life. I never regretted it or hankered after marriage. I just wanted to follow Jesus and travel as light as possible! Time is short and there is so much to do. Celibacy is priceless! It's pure! I love the freedom it brings.' In prophetic wisdom we saw celibacy as a precious gem covered over by a cloth of fears, reserves, and general disapproval. As we took the cloth away, God polished the jewel and set it once more in Zion's crown.
- 'Celibacy!' she said, 'I love it! Jesus said, "Seek first the kingdom". I made a pact with God and expected him to meet my needs. Celibacy is like getting into a new car. The sun is shining, God is with you, and you can explore. (P237)
- A celibate power-switch was thrown and the whole spirit of celibacy became futuristic. Frankly I was amazed to see young people with everything going for them in terms of marriage cast it all aside for the sake of the kingdom.(P352)
As a trained economist and sociologist, I'm only too well aware of the misuse to which statistics can be put; and yet who could deny the significance of the fact that there are 45 usages of the word 'celibacy' or 'celibate' in the JA book, 'Fire in our Hearts', yet only 26 usages of 'marriage' or 'married'. And of those 26, the words are quite often being used as a contrast to celibacy, and NOT because marriage itself is being talked about: as, for example, when a particular brother is talking about what celibacy means for him:
I didn't want to get bogged down in the cares of life. I never regretted it or hankered after marriage. I just wanted to follow Jesus and travel as light as possible! (P178)
To read the Jesus Army literature, you would think that there were flocks of young men and women whose hormonal urges and romantic desires had been almost magically displaced by the glorious attraction of remaining single within the Kingdom of God. Please don't let anyone be fooled! This isn't how we were made to be! So let's, once again, try to cut through the "celibacy-speak". I cannot deny that there are those who, for whatever reason, feel themselves called to remain in the single state…and it needn't only be in pursuit of religious goals! But for the vast majority it goes completely against the grain and involves a suppression of one of our most deeply engrained instincts: the instinct that craves the affection, companionship and physical closeness of the opposite sex.
If significant numbers of people, many of them extremely nubile, are denying their instinct for a relationship with a partner, then it is my contention that it cannot be accounted for by the religious zeal of each and every individual. The fact is that there is an immensely strong internal social dynamic within the Jesus Army that leads people to make these vows, and it is a social pressure which I myself believe to be not only wrong, but harmful…and one that ought to be resisted.
The Jesus Army claim that their emphasis on celibacy is the BIBLICAL one, and they quote many New Testament passages in support of it, especially ones made by the apostle Paul. They claim that they are encouraging people to find a higher purpose in their lives and that it is God's will for them. They refer to celibacy in terms of its being there almost as a prize for those who are brave and strong enough to claim it…"it's revolutionary, go for it".
Well, if indeed that is what is being taught in the Bible, then I for one will be bold enough to say that the Bible is wrong. But this all hinges on a particular way of interpreting what is being said, and I could equally as well argue that the Jesus Army are using their own interpretation of the Bible to support what is going on within their ranks. There is nothing there in my own reading of the Bible to support the overwhelming emphasis that the Jesus Army gives to celibacy! Either way, however, I am against it!
Courtship/Dating Procedures
Finally, I want to briefly outline the courtship procedures and make a few comments.
Although there can sometimes be flexibility, brothers who are under twenty-five are not normally eligible to begin a courtship. Come what may, however, it is always the brother who will make the first move in any courstship/dating initiative!
The Jesus Army operates an eldership system. Each member is assigned to an elder, or 'shepherd', with whom they will 'share' just about every significant decision that needs to be made (more about this in another article…please refer back to the website). When a brother, then, wants to begin a romantic relationship with a sister, it firstly needs to be approved by his elder. One of the saddest aspects of the whole thing is that this is often referred to as having a problem with such and such a sister. And therein lies the rub: being attracted to someone is treated as 'a problem' rather than something perfectly normal! Anyhow, the brother will normally be asked such things as "has he died to the attraction?" and has he "sought the gift of celibacy".
This is merely the beginning of the process: over some considerable time the brother will need to demonstrate that he has a 'pure heart' in wanting to pursue his attraction - whatever in God's name such sanctimonious hocus pocus can possibly mean. And it can lead to all kinds of deception! The brother in question needs to convince his elder that his desire to enter into a relationship is actually - and I quote - 'for the benefit of the Kingdom, or Zion'. People end up talking about wanting to 'get married for the Lord'. What they mean, of course, is that they've had to examine their motives and have not been able to just do as they please. It can also mean that they've been willing to lay the relationship aside if they felt that God wanted them to. Self examination in the light of a 'bigger picture' is no bad thing; but the idea that someone is entering into a relationship in order to please God and not themselves leads into a dangerous area of self-deception. Not only that, but it begs enormous questions about how the will of God is to be known. It's bad enough when you make your own romantic mistakes; many many times worse when other people make them on your behalf - and do so under the guise of claiming to know God's will for your life.
In these early stages of potential romantic attachment, there is no question of the brother making any direct approach to the sister; no question of them spending time alone together and being able to discuss their feelings - although I would be wrong to deny that couples sometimes find their own ways of communicating: snatched glances and conversations being charged with meaning. If, in the fullness of time, a persistent brother is given the green light by his own elder, then the sister's own elder will be consulted to see if she is 'available'…she may, for example, have made a vow of celibacy herself; or she may already be secretly in love with someone else. Furtherstill, the other elders are asked to find out if there are any more eligible brothers who are interested in the same sister, so that she herself can then choose between the prospective suitors.
At this stage, provided both elders (the brother's elder and the sister's elder) have agreed to a potential relationship, the sister will be told of the brother's interest in her (and that of any rivals!!) and she will be asked to make a response. If positive, then the couple can begin a carefully regulated courtship that confirms to guidelines about what is and what isn't acceptable; and it will ALWAYS have marriage as the not-too-distant goal. Romantic, exploratory relationships are never sanctioned.
My own disagreements with all of this hinge around the issues of control, individual responsibility, and the emphasis on celibacy. I fully appreciate that within a communal lifestyle there have to be certain procedures in critical areas such as this one. But the fact is that there have been plenty enough incidences of what many would call "immorality", even in spite of these controls. Whether or not these incidents would have been more widespread and more damaging to the essence of the Jesus Army lifestyle in the absence of the controls I have outlined is open to question. Given that the brothers and sisters are there because they believe God has called them in the first place, I doubt it.
But the other question that ought to be asked is, "if there ARE going to be courtship procedures, what should they be?" It is reflective of so much within the Jesus Army that what you see is the product of the "prophetic vision" delivered by Noel Stanton himself. The courtship procedures have not been carefully developed over the years in response to the practical requirements of communal living; they were spelt out auotocratically by Noel Stanton at the Jesus Fellowship's annual summer 'retreat' to Ashburnham in 1987. I know! I was there!
Which leads me back to the claim I made earlier that the segregation and courtship procedures within the Jesus Army are a consequence of the sexual ethic that sees uncleanness lurking behind the attraction between men and women. Having taken their cue, there are now many celibate leaders in the JA. Their attitide to the threat of unauthorised romantic relationships within the JA is to stamp on them hard and make sure they don't happen. (Human nature being what it is, however, brothers and sisters in the NCCC still find ways of secretly 'getting together'; but they are the exceptions rather than the rule.)
Those worst affected are once again the sisters! When Noel Stanton was outlining the courtship procedures, he DID have the 'pseudo-grace' to say that 'they needn't fear being left on the shelf' and assured them that all these things would get properly worked out 'within the will of God'. Comforting words! But, actually, they are of little comfort to the many sisters who cry themselves to sleep in the loneliness of their single bed. Far easier, I have often thought, to make the vow of celibacy! Far easier to at least have a future which is certain and which is admired than to live for years and years waiting and hoping that one day your elder might, just might, come and announce that there is a brother who has got his eye on you.
I have been accused of being bitter and judgmental in my opposition to the Jesus Army. I have been told to forgive and leave all this in the past. As I wrote that last paragraph (the loneliness of the sisters), I was reminded yet again by the swelling up of emotion within me why I will carry on doing my very best to speak the truth as I know it about the lifestyle of the Jesus Army. And if some are spared the secret agony of soul that I know many endure, then I will have done my job!